Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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