Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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