Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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