So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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