your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
