i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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