I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
