you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
