i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
