Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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