to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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