We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
