Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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