I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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