Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
