you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
