I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
