Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
