Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
only you would photoshop your dick
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
