Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
