i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
