i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
