Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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