I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
