Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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