woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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