Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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