they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
