Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
