benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
