did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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