Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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