I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am naked and annoyed.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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