Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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