You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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