She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
