I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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