Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
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We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
