Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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