There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
