the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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