There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
