I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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