I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
