Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
