What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He has the fingertips of a God
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