I feel great
I just peed on a car
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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