It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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