I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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