Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
