Do you still have your period?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
